Of course, I've always been one of the boys. It's just nice having boys who are often a little more in touch with their feminine sides, if for no other reason than that I feel less silly when I'm in touch with mine.
The past few days, I've been surprisingly effeminate- I say this in honor of my roommate, who once told me I was often "effeminate" but never really "feminine." My hips swish, and God help me, I actually like my long hair that I'm usually debating cutting off.
This is always a disturbing feeling, like the first time I got tipsy around boys and started paying entirely too much attention to member of the men's music fraternity. The next day, I freaked out. I thought he was hot. What did that mean for my sexuality?
Then I decided it really didn't matter. Desire, actions, and identity are three separate categories and, while related, don't always have to fall perfectly into place. I know straight girls who kiss girls, straight boys who kiss boys, and gay girls who sit in the laps of boys with questionable sexuality to tell them how pretty they are (guess which one I am!).
I just wish I could have this same attitude towards gender. Sexuality is one thing; with the growing media attention on sexuality, accepting sexualities outside of the Beaver Cleaver norm is becoming easier. But gender is firmly ingrained in our culture, and it's hard to escape.
Still, it shouldn't matter. Some days I feel like a tomboy. Some days I feel like a boy boy. Some days I feel like the world's most effeminate queen. Roll with it.
I think that, at the end of the day, I'd rather come off as effeminate/androgynous than butch. Queens have more fun. Just look at Emmett from QAF:
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